John Bradshaw and The Power of Inner Child Work

My Introduction to Dr. John Bradshaw

I met John Bradshaw in 1989.  My daughter, Pam was employed as a psychotherapist at The John Bradshaw Center in Ingleside Hospital in West Hollywood, California.  I had been visiting her when she introduced me to John and his staff.  I had seen his series, Bradshaw: On the Family on PBS and resonated with his concepts and presentation—so much so, that I watched it more than a dozen times, taking notes each time.  Having been a therapist since 1978, my work intuitively included healing the unresolved wounds of childhood.  I knew I had to bring him to Florida to do an Inner Child Workshop.

 

What Is Inner Child Work?

John presented an academic understanding of how abuse, neglect and abandonment in childhood manifests in addiction and codependency as adults.  The insatiable wounds of childhood, created a culture in America that led to alcohol and drug abuse and many other forms of addiction.  As addiction spread into sex, gambling, workaholism, shopping, pornography, eating disorders and a deep loss of self-esteem, it all seemed to have the same etiology: the unmet needs of childhood from dysfunctional parenting.  The goal was to teach the recovering community how to re-parent themselves to heal. John’s definition of addiction is “a pathological relationship with a person, behavior or substance that has mood altering effects and life-threatening consequences.”  In the simplest of terms, it’s something you can’t stop!

Abuse comes in different forms.  There is physical abuse that needs no explanation—emotional abuse, not being able to have your feelings—verbal abuse, parents using words to humiliate, create guilt and shame—abuse through abandonment, the lack of being present to the child physically or emotionally– intellectual abuse, not adequately preparing a child with life skills—spiritual abuse, using God as punishing a child for not living up to parent’s expectations and the worst of all, sexual abuse; perpetrating overt or covert sexual behavior on the innocence and vulnerability of the defenseless child.  Any and all of these behaviors severely impact the sense of self-worth, self-esteem and self-image of a child that rapes the child of his/her authenticity, causing a false self in place of their essence.  The false self is the adaptation to survive.  It is a set up for addiction.

Producing The Inner Child Workshop for South Florida

It was just a few months after meeting John that he contacted me to see if I would be able to produce a workshop in Florida.  I would have just 3 months to prepare. I was so eager to present John to my community, that the challenge was appreciated without realizing the work involved.  I had attended his Inner Child Workshop in Los Angeles where nearly 4000 people attended. The results were amazing.  The recovering community was his target audience.  I knew I had to bring him to South Florida, however, never expecting a crowd equal to the one I had attended.  His trainer, Kip Flock traveled to Florida to train the therapists I had interviewed and hired to support the event.  The inception of what was to be called, JOAN E CHILDS & ASSOCIATES was born.  The word got out that I was looking for therapists who wanted to be a part of the therapeutic community I was about to create. The semblance of this group of veteran therapists were trained three times prior to the event.  While all this was happening, I had to design and create the marketing of this coming event.

Inner Child Workshop Begins in South Florida

John wanted his workshop to be produced and presented to the South Florida community in October, 1989. This was prior to the Internet.  My late husband, Mervyn Thal, one of the partners of the famous Epicure Market on Miami Beach were the brains that put this together while I was gathering therapists that were being trained by Kip on Inner Child Work.  Kip and the therapists chosen to be a part of my association worked for a week, three separate times over the three months, learning the Transformation Model created by John and his staff. I was so eager to present John to South Florida that I never considered the time and effort it would take to produce such an undertaking—nor did I ever expect the size of an audience equal to the workshop I had attended in Los Angeles.  I accepted the challenge without batting an eye.  My innocence and enthusiasm trumped my common sense and I was grateful to have the opportunity. By some miracle, it all worked out.

Inner Child Work Transforms Lives in South Florida

In October 1989, the first session in a four-day workshop, An Evening with John Bradshaw, the Miami Beach Convention Center was filled to capacity.  More than 4000 enthusiastic people attended.  The following three days were devoted to the Inner Child Workshop that transformed the lives of those who participated.  The recovering communities from all over South Florida gathered with baited breath, eager to work on their wounds of childhood that led them to addiction and recovery.  This would be the next step in their healing process.

Inner Child Work Leads to Movement throughout the Country

John’s workshop followed by my commitment to continue his work led to a movement that spread throughout the country.  John was the golden boy of recovery.  He had been a recovering addict for more than 28 years at this time.  In his early years he had been in the seminary but left to teach, become a psychologist and finally an author and inspirational speaker.  His work and presentations on Public Television enlightened communities all over the country and soon to other countries.  He wrote several books, BRADSHAW: On the Family, HEALING THE SHAME THAT BINDS YOU, CREATING AND MAINTAINING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, POST ROMANTIC BREAK-UP DISORDER and more, all published by Health Communications, Inc.  At first other professions in mental health considered his work as “fringe”, however, as time evolved, the Inner Child Work became and still is the heart and soul of recovery.

The Transformational Model: The Road to Recovery

The TRANSFORMATION MODEL has many steps.  The first is to modify the behavior. This is called first stage recovery.  Second stage recovery is family of origin work which is Inner Child Work.  The client MUST be clean and sober to do this work. The third is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and now, Dialectal Behavior Therapy.  The last component of the model is Spiritual, that includes having a higher power.  John and I believe in twelve step programs that have exponentially grown over 85 years.  AA began in 1936 but has stayed strong as a support to recovery, unchanged and successful throughout the decades. Other 12-step programs exploded from AA including Al-Anon, Coda, GA, (gambling anonymous) Love and Sex Addiction, OA, (over eaters anonymous), ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and more.  Sponsors are a significant component to these programs. These support groups and sponsors lend sustenance to those who are in program. As the saying goes, “it works if you work it!”

Although John Bradshaw was not the only mental health professional to bring the concept of Inner Child Work to the recovering community, he stands out as a great contributor.  His oratory skills coupled with his understanding of theology and psychology adds to the richness and application of the work.  It was the framework of my work that I still practice today at the ripe old age of 81.  My hope is to continue healing clients with this methodology, now coupled with other modalities such as EMDR, NLP, along with EcCT, Encounter-centered Transformation Couples Therapy and more.  Inner Child Work is an essential part of my couple’s work and when each partner understands and appreciates the wounds of each other’s childhood, compassion and acceptance occur raising the level of intimacy and restoring connection.

How Inner Child Work Plays an Important Part in Healing Relationships

The basis of my work with couples is inclusive of Inner Child Work within the framework of the modality.  It was the inspiration for writing my latest book, I HATE THE MAN I LOVE: A Conscious Relationship is Your Key to Success.  The book Is descriptive on how Inner Child Work plays an integrative part in healing relationships.  It is inherent and essential in working with couples.

Stay tuned to learn more about Inner Child Work, a modality that began in the eighties, considered by many as fringe, that today is still a major factor in healing the wounds of childhood and supporting recovery from all kinds of addictions.

 

Read my latest newsletter, Spring Brings Renewal and Change – Introduction to Inner Child Work, which includes my introductory video and articles on the Inner Child, as well as my Video Series on my book I Hate the Man I Love.

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Joan E Childs, LCSW is a renowned psychotherapist, inspirational speaker and author of I Hate The Man I Love: A Conscious Relationship is Your Key to Success. In private practice since 1978, she specializes in individual and couple’s therapy, grief therapy, EMDR, NLP, inner child work and codependency. Learn more about her services at www.joanechilds.com.