- Practitioner of Encounter-centered Couples Transformation
- Certified PAIRS Therapist
- Couple 2 Day Intensive Therapy
Encounter-centered Couples Transformation (ECCT)
I have exciting news I want to share with all of you about a “state of the arts” couples therapy. It is called Encounter-centered Couples Transformation. In 2012. I launched a two-day couple’s Intensive to help couples (one couple at a time) “CROSS THE BRIDGE” and restore their relationship/marriage.
It took three years, studying with Hedy Schleifer, a Master Couples Therapist to attain this new and remarkable technology to help couple restore their essence and reclaim their marriages. I am thrilled to add this new and exciting modality to my therapeutic modalities. I feel I have embarked upon a wonderful and powerful healing technology to employ with couples who want to repair the relational space that has become polluted over the course of time.
I have accrued many different certifications and attended dozens of workshops from many contributors in the field of couple counseling, however, I have never been as excited and impressed as I am with ECCT, (Encounter Centered Couple Therapy). Hedy Schleifer has created a fresh and innovative methodology, called Encounter-centered Couples Transformation that synthesizes the work of many contributors including John Bradshaw, CREATING AND MAINTAINING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, Harville Hendrix, IMAGO, Lori Gordon, PAIRS, (PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS FOR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP SKILLS) and the philosophy of Martin Buber as well as many others. Hedy Schleifer, the founder of TIKKUN, (a Hebrew word that means repair), is a renowned international couple’s counselor who delivers couple workshops all over the world. The two-day Intensive I will structure as the main core modality of my practice, delivers the results most couples cannot achieve in years with traditional counseling. The only requirement to engage in this process is that BOTH parties say, “YES” (having a sense of good will) to move their relationship/marriage forward.
It was Martin Buber, the Jewish philosopher who said that we are wired for connection. When we disconnect, we go into crisis. It is then, that the relational space in which the couple lives with their children becomes polluted. This two-day Intensive is designed to help couples go deep into each other’s world by Crossing the Bridge to their partner’s neighborhood and seeing perhaps, for the first time, their partner’s essence and authentic self that they may never have known before. It teaches presence, encounter, and connection in a way that really works. The couple learns how to exchange their survival roles for their authentic selves so that they no longer are stuck in their unhealthy dynamic of existence. I have witnessed many transformations that were never before able to be accomplished through other therapeutic interventions. Although the costs are steep, it is a lot cheaper that the cost of a divorce and more importantly can save the couple and their children from multiple heartaches and suffering.
Having been in private practice for nearly 44 years, this process has produced a new and vital energy in me, that is prompting me to incorporate this as my niche in private practice and to introduce this to our community. It will become my life’s work.
Certified PAIRS Therapist
Founded by Lori Gordon, Ph.D., PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills), provides opportunities for change and growth in couples. PAIRS teach couples how to move their relationship forward to better communication that results in better understanding. The tools provided by a PAIRS LEADER helps facilitate couples through their conflicts and gives each partner a better understanding of the needs and wounds of one other.
Often our history complicates our present and dictates our future. By learning how to discharge the anger, hurt, and fears of our childhood, we can clear a new path for love and commitment in our present relationships. Simple exercises and ground rules for FAIR FIGHTING help couples deal respectfully and effectively with one another. It teaches them to honor the pain and shame each brings to a relationship, unwittingly. It offers new ways to deal with old issues. It builds tolerance and intimacy that results in a deeper love for one another.
Based on the contributions of many psychologists and psychotherapists, PAIRS synthesizes the work of expert clinicians who have developed their own theories and ideas that have each been a part of a whole system of techniques. PAIRS is the collaboration of all these combined.
Having been a PAIRS LEADER since 1997, I feel confident that this model can effectuate positive change in couples who are willing to commit to the process. PAIRS coupled with ECCT couple therapy leads to greater understanding and resolution in all impaired couple who want to heal their relationships.
Two Day Intensive Couples Therapy
Advancing technology in couple’s counseling has paved the way to perpetual possibilities and hope for healthier relationships. We now know ways to teach couples to reconnect and reach levels of intimacy never before realized. We understand human beings are wired for connection and when we disconnect, we go into crisis. The goal is to help couples become authentic; to relinquish their survival roles so they can discover each other, perhaps for the first time, thus allowing them to fall in love again. When the relational space between them becomes polluted, a “disconnect” is certain to happen. When we clean up the contaminated space, we reconnect with a more meaningful, honest and mature relationship than ever thought possible. The basis of this work is adapted from Martin Buber, the Jewish philosopher, who said, ” When two individuals are in their essence, time is eternal.” This was the origin of the “I/thou” experience.
The format is a two-day therapeutic intensive ($3800.00), executed in a two days time period, half days or consecutively over time. Insurance WILL NOT cover this procedure. (It is important to note that this is far less expensive than a divorce.) This work requires a special and unique approach. A traditional psychotherapeutic hour is not appropriate, as the treatment requires mass time therapy to obtain optimum results.
*Another facet of Encounter-centered Couples Transformation is called THE GOOD-BYE PROCESS. Derived from Imago Therapy, it provides closure for those couples who choose to separate or divorce. They will learn how to release old resentments and experience constructive closure: a healing way to end their relationship.
Through this process, the couple learns they can be friends, even after divorce. They learn a new way to be connected and proceed in their lives with added relational understanding and maturity. If the couple has children, they will increase and strengthen their parenting skills.
Some couples suddenly see the possibility of a new way to be connected. They will say goodbye with honor, dignity, and respect to their relationship and each other. Perhaps this is hard to imagine, but it works! THE GOODBYE PROCESS is also a two-day Intensive where couples can say goodbye to the good as well as the bad.
REPAIR AFTER THE AFFAIR
It is very common for couples to experience an affair during the lifetime of a marriage. In most cases this results in divorce, however, this is not always the necessary. Given effective counseling by a trained couple’s therapist, the results may NOT be tragic. ECCT provides a very specialized technology to help couples heal from this infraction to the relationship and “repair after the affair.”