Happy Mate, Happy State!

Making Your Mate Happy

Want to keep your mate a happy camper? Want to keep your mate coming back for more? Want to make your mate want you?

Then turn up the heat, get in the groove, make her feel like you can’t live without her. Better yet, like she can’t live without you. Make her feel like a woman in love; a woman adored, explored and like the sun rises and sets in her. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes! Put in a little thought; a little effort and a whole lot of lovin’ including kissin’ and they’re putty in your hands, hearts and minds forever. It means stretching your muscle man; your emotional muscles!

Seven ways to make your woman faithful, grateful and playful

First a note of truth about women: They love to feel they matter! Don’t you? They need to feel a connection and it’s not just with your plug. It’s with your emotions; the most difficult part to share. Once you get that, you’ll get her!
Making your woman feel like she matters can get you whatever you want. And I don’t mean having to buy her the moon or spoil her. It’s all in your attitude. Pretend it’s a contest. Who can make each other happier! The winner never loses. There are no losers. It’s always a win/win!

1. Tell her you love her everyday; even on the days you don’t feel like telling her. And, when you do, hold her in your arms, cast your eyes onto hers and say it like you mean it! Open your heart with full acceptance. It’s called PRESENCING!
2. Share at least part of your day with her when you come home or speak to her. Tell her at least one good thing that happened, then you can give her the bad news, if there is any to share.
3. Ask her how her day went and how she is feeling, even if you don’t really want to know: pretend!
4. Don’t try to fix her problems; just listen to them and ask how you can be helpful. Support her autonomy. Trust that she may be able to figure it out, but just needs your encouragement and a sounding board, like you often do.
5. Tell her something you appreciate about her at least once a day; something she did or didn’t do; something she said or didn’t say. It can be as simple as complimenting her hair, shoes, dress or the way she brewed your coffee. Recognize and acknowledge a different flavor.
6. Share your hopes, dreams and wishes as often as possible with her and ask her to share hers.
7. Fight fair and square. Stay in the now. Use self responsible statements like “I” as opposed to “you.” Don’t take her inventory; don’t collect stamps; don’t blame her and never say “never and always” and for God’s sake; don’t tell her she’s just like her mother! Don’t judge, don’t criticize, don’t blame, stonewall or fault find. Try to speak in the positive using specific sensory information. “I would love you to rub my back” instead of “you never rub my back.,”

And here’s the best part: It has no number because its’ elementary; however, it requires practice, owning your stuff, imagination and determination. Become the best lover you can ever imagine to be. Study love- making. Watch romantic old fashioned movies instead of porn. Learn all about her body and what pleases her. Be gentle, tender, patient. Go easy, find out her hot spots and if you don’t know them; ask her to tell you. Insist on it. Become an artist, a virtuoso, a maestro at love-making. Make love-making an art form and become one with her; like the singer and the song; the dancer and the dance. Embrace her and protect her like your most precious asset. Believe in her, respect her, compliment her and be her best friend. In his novel, The Adventurers, Harold Robbins wrote of a woman who gave her lover a cigarette case engraved with these words: To my favorite swordsman, from your most grateful scabbard. Be her swordsman and make yourself her most favorite scabbard. The rest will follow!

Joan E Childs, LCSW is a renowned psychotherapist, inspirational speaker and author of I Hate The Man I Love: A Conscious Relationship is Your Key to Success. In private practice since 1978, she specializes in individual and couple’s therapy, grief therapy, EMDR, NLP, inner child work and codependency. Learn more about her services at www.joanechilds.com.