The Price of Nice

There will be many who will not agree with my perception, thoughts and meanderings.  That’s OK.  We can agree to disagree.  We know everything we hear is an opinion, not necessarily a fact.  Everything we see is a perspective, not necessarily the truth.  Although I have never entered the world of politics in any of my blogs, I was compelled to share my feelings at this precarious time of my life. 

THE PRICE OF NICE is a big price to pay.  To be kind, caring, decent, empathic, of good character and understanding, doesn’t work well in politics.  As a therapist for nearly half a century, living in a state of generosity and sensitivity doesn’t cut it in the political arena.  No one gives a damn how nice you are.  Inflammatory behavior reaps more success.  This is my take, like it or not.

The Price of Nice

Remember when we learned values, principles and morals in kindergarten?  We were taught to do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Say please and thank you.  When you hurt someone, always say you’re sorry.  Never tell a lie.  The truth may hurt but it sets you free. Or what about this one? God’s people do not lie or deceive each other (Leviticus 19:11) or give false testimony about another (Exodus 20:06)

What happened to everything we learned in kindergarten, bible studies, I Love Lucy, Father’ Knows Best. and from our parents?  I feel we have been hijacked by politicians and their allies who have betrayed the very foundations of our childhood teachings.  As a result, I and many others no longer feel safe. And worse yet, our role models for our children and grandchildren have fallen from grace. Decency, ethics and integrity have been replaced with greed, avarice and power. Doing the right thing and being the best, we can be, have faded into dust.  This is the first time in my life I am grateful to be 85 years old.  I lived in the best of times in an era that was the last age of innocence. Our democracy and Constitution have always been above reproach and held in the highest regard.  I witnessed an attempt to desecrate the core of our country. I am grateful that my parents were not alive to see the horror I witnessed on January 6, 2020.

The price of being nice doesn’t make you a winner

What this says to me is that the price of being nice doesn’t make you a winner. When Hillary was at the podium along with Trump, he was always 2-3 feet behind her invading her space.  Instead of ignoring his intrusion as she did, an evil eye and “get the fuck out of my space” would have been more advantageous than taking the high road and remaining calm, ladylike and ignoring his offensive behavior. Her response was not authentic. She was wearing her survival suit instead of being in her essence. The bitch in her should have taken over, as the audience would have loved her response!  Underneath a bully is a coward.  Had she taken him on as he tried to intimidate her, the audience would have seen her authenticity.  I can assure you that she wanted to kick his ass but chose to remain calm, cool and collective when in fact I am sure she was seething with rage and burning up with revulsion.

Kamila’s fatal flaw was during her appearance on The View.  When asked if she would have done anything different while serving as vice president, she paused and demurely said she honestly would not have.  If she had said, “Of course.  We argued many times over his ideas and plans.  We fought like tigers but since he was the president, and I the VP, I had to capitulate to his decisions as any VP would have done.  But I gave him my voice many times; some he heard, and others he dismissed.”  That would have been authentic and perhaps saved her.  Instead, she was reticent to hurt Joe’s feelings and behaved like a Stepford wife as not to appear ungrateful.  Afterall, he resigned and gave her this opportunity to take on the presidency. She played it safe and lost the chance to become president.

Nice never works

What I have learned is that in politics, nice never works.  Women can be tough, but their innate sensitive nature interrupts the Artemis that lives inside them.  We tend to take care of others before we take care of ourselves. 

Artemis is strong, loyal, brave, blunt, impulsive, encouraging, daring, witty and independent. She takes pride in being the most tough of the goddesses. Kamala has it in her, but her politeness and false self interrupted Artemis’s fight for life.

We all have parts

We all have parts.  The whole is greater than the sum of our parts.  She only had 90 days to pull this off.  The words she said to her base should have been said to him.  She clearly won the debate.  He didn’t want another so as not to look bad. That was clear evidence.  Had she been a Delilah and cut off his hair, (in this case, his balls), he might have caved.

I teach my clients about their parts.  I encourage them to learn about them, embrace and negotiate with them; especially their dark side. If you don’t, they will kick you in the ass.  We know that we all have a shadow side; the most powerful part of us.  Carl Jung understood the power of parts, as did Richard Schwartz and Virgina Satir, the founder of family therapy.  We need to embrace that part so when we need it, it can fight against a Goliath. George Lucas knew about parts.  There is a Darth Vader in all of us as well as a Luke Skywalker, a Yoda and a wise old man and woman.   Had Kamila known this was within her, waiting to be ignited, she could have swung that sling and tossed the five stones to destroy the goliath that destroyed her.  Had she only known about this part, integrated and worked with it, I think she could have surpassed David with her own weaponry.  As Shakespeare said, “Hell hath no fury like a women’s scorn.” Kamala had been scorned; not by another woman, but by the Grinch who stole the election.