Control vs Letting Go

Our personality likes to be in control. It likes to know how things are and what’s going to happen. This need comes from a lack of trust. Underlying this desire for stability and predictability is a deep fear that the world is a dangerous and/or an unfriendly universe. The personality fears it will not survive without continually being on guard. The need to maintain guard derives from toxic shame.

The truth is: we cannot control what happens in life. Under the natural law of attraction, we tend to attract to us what we focus on. The goal of meditation is to “lose our mind” and give up control. Learn to let go, be still, and allow your dreams and wishes to manifest. If you decide to commit, the universe will cooperate.

Meditation requires commitment and practice.

It is not easy, but the pay-off is worth it. Spending 15-20 minutes a day meditating will change the colors of your mind.

Get into a comfortable position. You can lie on a couch, sit on the floor or find a favorite chair. Close your eyes, relax your mind; relax your thoughts and take a nice long, deep breath in through your nose and expand your lungs and your belly. When you feel full of oxygen, unable to hold it any longer, blow it out through your lips and whisper “Om” as the breath empties until there is no more. Repeat this ten times and each time you get a thought, make a conscious effort to blow it out. Stay mindful of your breathing. Notice the air as you breathe in and out. Notice the difference in the air with inhalation and exhalation.

Is it cooler when you breathe in; or is it cooler when you breathe out? Just stay focused on your breathing. Each time a thought torpedoes in, blow it out through your lips and continue to stay mindful of your breathing. Soon you will begin to relax and feel your presence in the here and now. Doing this on a daily basis is one of the best resources for de-stressing. Remember, it takes time, patience and commitment.

Our personality likes to be in control.

It likes to know how things are and what’s going to happen. This need comes from a lack of trust. Underlying this desire for stability and predictability is a deep fear that the world is a dangerous and/or an unfriendly universe. The personality fears it will not survive without continually being on guard. The need to maintain guard derives from toxic shame.

The truth is: we cannot control what happens in life. Under the natural law of attraction, we tend to attract to us what we focus on.The goal of meditation is to “lose our mind” and give up control. Learn to let go, be still, and allow your dreams and wishes to manifest.If you decide to commit, the universe will cooperate.

Meditation requires commitment and practice.

It is not easy, but the pay-off is worth it.Spending 15-20 minutes a day meditating will change the colors of your mind.

Get into a comfortable position.You can lie on a couch, sit on the floor or find a favorite chair.Close your eyes, relax your mind; relax your thoughts and take a nice long, deep breath in through your nose and expand your lungs and your belly.When you feel full of oxygen, unable to hold it any longer, blow it out through your lips and whisper “Om” as the breath empties until there is no more.Repeat this ten times and each time you get a thought, make a conscious effort to blow it out.Stay mindful of your breathing.Notice the air as you breathe in and out.Notice the difference in the air with inhalation and exhalation.Is it cooler when you breathe in; or is it cooler when you breathe out?Just stay focused on your breathing.Each time a thought torpedoes in, blow it out through your lips and continue to stay mindful of your breathing.Soon you will begin to relax and feel your presence in the here and now. Doing this on a daily basis is one of the best resources for de-stressing.Remember, it takes time, patience and commitment.

Joan E Childs, LCSW is a renowned psychotherapist, inspirational speaker and author of Do You Hate the One You Love: Strategies For Healing and Saving Your Relationship. In private practice since 1978, she specializes in individual and couple’s therapy, grief therapy, EMDR, NLP, inner child work and codependency. Learn more about her services at www.joanechilds.com.